I was asked by Ukhti about toilet training (in the comments) but my response was so long that I decided to just post it here.

First, I stopped using the potty. I hate those little nasty things. I put him on the toilet because we have a three floor home and there is no bathroom on the middle/main floor. He needed to learn to use the real toilet and how to get there in time. Besides, my middle kids are too big for it anyway.

Honestly, I was just about to give up when my husband began to offer my son incentives. My husband offered him little chocolates (and sometimes way too big chocolates) if he used the toilet. This encouraged him to go a little more regularly. And we would all make a really big deal out of it by telling him that he was a good boy and that he made us happy.

He was still refusing to poo in the toilet and would wait until we gave him a pull-up. So, I took the pull ups away and I couldn’t believe it! He did it in his underwear. This happened about three or four times. Finally, I got so frustrated that I made him get in the bathtub and wash his own bum. He cried. A lot. But it worked. To me, it seems that a child has to make the transition from being okay with soiling themselves to feeling repulsed.

Also, I started to take note of his behavior and note the time of day that he was needing to go. He liked to “disappear” when it was time to go. He would go behind the sofa or into the kitchen for a few minutes and then come back. Or he would get really quiet. That’s when I could hear him pushing or grunting. Those were all cues that he needed to go.

Another thing is frequency. We got to the point that we were making him go every half hour to forty-five minutes.

My daughter never went this far, but I had to take away her pull-ups and give her underwear in order to move forward. She didn’t want to get her underwear wet so she would cry when I made her wear it. She soon learned that going to the toilet would keep it dry. 🙂

It’s funny. My two year old just turned two last month and she goes to the toilet on her own sometimes already. Kids are unpredictable and AlhamduLILLAH, sometimes in a good way. This time, I think we will skip the pull-ups altogether.

Take care, wa salaam.