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- “Assalaamu alaykum I’m a mother of one living in the US and I am seriously considering homeschooling… my girl is still an infant but every time I remember my public school experiences I cringe and swear I could never subject my daughter to that.I am concerned about socialization, though. How do you get your kids to play and learn with other children their ages when you live in a non-Muslim country and are so selective about their playmates (they have to be Muslim, good adab, etc)? I have no question that the quality of education would be better, but what about the socialization factor? jazaku Allah khayr”
Wa ‘alaikum as salaam, Sis.
May ALLAH make things easy for you and your family, AMEEN.
For me, socialization is really not an issue. Because we get out and about in the world, my children understand how to converse with their elders, they feel comfortable around various ages and they are more inclined to play with any aged child, (they love babies and sometimes don’t realize that they are not as old as the older kids, lol.
One of the things that I hear often is how well behaved my children are, AlhamduLILLAH. That is because they are learning how to socialize from me, other family members, friends and their children, etc. I’ve heard this from Muslims and non-Muslims alike – even at the Islamic school.
We recently went to the doctor’s office and they quietly waited for me. A woman in the waiting room remarked that they were extremely well-behaved.
One of the things that public school children learn is socialization… from their peers. They learn to socialize from each other. They learn what is proper behavior, language and values from their friends, e.g. swearing, bullying, fighting. They learn to value clothing labels and choose pop icons as their role models. What about when they get older? Will they retain their fitrah in a non-segregated environment? Will they go to school dances, date or feel that you’ve cheated them at their chance at happiness and social acceptance when you won’t let them go? They will learn to socialize from their peers, five days a week for eight hours a day, ten months of the year.
If you’re concerned about socializing, find a play group, a preschool group, a small program through the zoo, local park, library, homeschool co-op, take them to the houses of like-minded friends, relatives, etc.
As far as being in a non-Muslim country, I understand your concerns but it does not mean that you have to cut off all interaction with non-Muslims. For example, our kids do go to the playground (supervised) and I will let them play with non-Muslim children. My side of the family is non-Muslim and their cousin comes to visit in the summer. If he does or says something that they know is naughty, they gently correct him 😉
He goes to public school and I can tell. He’s an intelligent, straight A kid but his mother is dealing with some behavior issues. He likes to be the center of attention and he likes to please the crowd.
He knows the consequences and yet it is his peers that he is trying to please, not his family.
MashaALLAH that you are willing to pursue homeschooling and I hope that ALLAH makes things easy for you, AMEEN.
